


Catharsis

by She_Who_Only_Knows_War



Series: Clairvoyant [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Dealing with the Death of a Family Member, Gen, Self-Loathing, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:53:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_Who_Only_Knows_War/pseuds/She_Who_Only_Knows_War
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily makes some revelations.<br/>Brooke needs them to move forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> And this is the end of this series.  
> It's not long. And the metaphors aren't very clear... But they mean something to me... So there, haha.  
> We're coming up on an anniversary in a few days anyway... So at the very least, it's for me.

She tries again to draft that text.  
It still sounds bitter.  
It's promptly deleted.

 

"He's been asking about you," Says Lily. "He really likes you."  
Brooke shakes her head. "I'm just his toy."  
Lily frowns at that, wants to disagree, but says nothing.  
Brooke is okay with being his plaything. But she's mad. So, so mad about Maggie.

 

Brooke knows she hates herself so much. So, _so_ much.  
Because she tortures herself with every what if. What if she had loved Maggie like Cameron told her to? What if she'd talked to Maggie the night before?  
What if she'd done too much or not enough?  
It's agonizing. So destructive.  
But she's decided to quit cutting and burning herself.  
She will not harm herself ever again.

 _I'm so angry at you_ , She texts Cameron. _You make me feel so useless. So screwed over._ And before she can rethink it, she texts, _I forgive you._  
A whole day goes by without a response.  
Hannah comes by and they sit on the worn loveseat Brooke has been thinking about getting upholstered.  
"Have you thought about Cameron?" She asks.  
Brooke has. Always does right after she thinks about Maggie.  
Hannah sighs. "Let's be real about this. He didn't want me to say anything, but I think you deserve to know."  
Brooke lowers her brows in curiosity.  
Hannah takes a shakey breath. "He said he saw both ways Maggie's life could go. One was bad and the other was worse."  
She meets Brooke's eye. "The other fate, she was just like your mom."  
And Brooke instantly gets it. The idea of Maggie going down the same path isn't really a surprise. They've had pregnancy scares a few times before.  
"I'm so sorry Brooke. There was no way Maggie was going to end up happy here. And you would have stayed mad at her. Stayed tortured. Stayed competitive in all the wrong ways. It was just better, he said, that she leave."  
"Is it my fault? Should I have cried out for her? Went to see her in the operating room?"  
Hannah shakes her head. "That would have killed you. And you can't go back and redo it, Brooke. You have to forgive yourself. Forgive Cameron."  
Brooke wants to. But she just can't. She _can't._  
Hannah sighs, takes Brooke in her arms. "She forgave you. It's time to forgive yourself."  
They talk the rest of the night. It leaves Brooke feeling okay. Just barely. But enough that she understands. He loved Maggie, too. But he knew what was going to happen if she didn't die in that car accident. It was a repeat of the life that she and Brooke came from.  
Brooke still hurts. But she can breath. The weight on her shoulders is lighter.  
Three days of silence and he finally texts back, _Go down to the lake._  
So she does. She feels the compulsion to take a dip in the cool, shimmering water.  
And when she comes back up, she knows what sort of gift she has.  
She is a woman of action.  
And she ought not to sit by and let the world rot without having put her hands in it.  
Cameron moves down, too.  
And while she isn't sure what their purpose is, she has a goal now. And she loves having a goal.

 

Things aren't perfect between herself and Cameron. There's still so much healing to do.  
But as long as they can keep moving forward, they're alright.

She's alright.


End file.
